Manic Monday for November 5, 2007

Describe yourself in one word:

YES!

What is your favorite kitchen utensil and why?

While it may seem as though the obvious answer is spork, spork is actually the only wrong answer. It's biggest proponents I'm sure would argue that being the bastard-son of a spoon and fork gives you the scooping ability of a spoon, with the stabbing ability of the fork. Those of us living in reality, though, can see that while it does in fact do both of these things, it does both of them poorly. Think about it. It's probably about as dumb as the Swiss army knife.

That said, the best utensil by far is, as Laura suggested, tongs. Now, admittedly, I was at first skeptical. I mean, why give up five ingeniously designed manipulating appendages for two rigid rods with a single degree of freedom? And then I tried to pick up a hamburger off my grill, and it all became so clear.

What is the one thing that frightens you the most about growing old?

The scariest thing about me growing old is kids growing old. They (who?) say children are our future, and because we all have to die someday, it turns out they're right.

I remember, in the not too distant past, adults telling me that I'd be taking over the world someday. Now that I can deal with. I mean, I'm pretty smart, confident, and I think that the world is in the good hands of me and my peers.

Now that I, myself, am an adult, the idea of kids running the world scares me out of my wits. Have you seen kids, lately? All they do is suck on bottles, or climb around on monkey bars. Many of them can't spell, and most are just completely aloof. Then again, as far as the White House is concerned, that could be an improvement.