Feast One Hundred & Five

Appetizer
Name an actor or actress you think is totally underappreciated.

James Earl Jones. I got to eat lunch with him at some banquet one time. Now I'm not one who talks much, but my cowoker who was sitting with me, across for him, certainly does. He asks him, "Yo James E, got any movies coming out?" And this sad look kind of struck his face. He looked at my friend sternly and said, "I am but a voice, not an image." Sad.

Soup
Impress us by using a big word in a sentence.

I'm looking for a man named Jeremy.

Salad
What is something inanimate that you've given a name to (such as a pet rock)?

It must've been three or four years ago when I was eating at a nice restaurant with my girlfriend of that time. "I can do a magic trick," I told her. I'd been practicing this thing where I pull a french fry from out of her nose, then her ear, and then, well, her breasts. So I start it, and with the first two, she looks very unamused. I wonder, momentarily, if I should continue. Why the hell not, I say. So I blow into my left hand and reach over to her cleavage, startling her. She stands up, flips the table at me, and runs off.

Of course, now the rest of the patrons are staring at me, and I'm covered in steak and pasta and wine and silverware. Then something caught my eye. She left her purse. So I take the purse and name it "Tomodati" (Japanese for friend) and for several weeks it supplies me with money. That's what friends do.

What ex-girlfriends do is call and demand their purse be returned. And what I do is vehemently deny that I ever had it.

Main Course
What color would best represent your personality and why?

Orange. It's the color of carrots, and I'm wise. It's the color of the sunset, and I'm beautiful. It's the color of oranges, and I'm juicy. It's the color construction signs, and I'm under construction. It's the color of agent orange, and I'm yummy.

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: ____________ is so ____________.

Dogs is so Specials.