Shop-a-holic

1. What are your five favorite stores?

2. Is there any store you absolutely hate going to?

3. Do you pay with cash, credit, debit, or something else?

4. Do you prefer to shop in person or online?

5. In the last six months, what single purchase has been the most important to you?

1. In no specific order...

Sears. It has just about everything you could want from furniture to clothes to, best of all, tools. They're at every mall, and they accept discover card. On top of that, what better way to enter a mall. I mean, don't you feel a little guilty if you enter through the Kauffman's, or the food court?

K-mart. They're the underdawg (yes, that's how I spell dog, damn it) of the super store industry, and it seems there just isn't room for them anymore. Oh well, you have to root for the underdogs, or else you're a bastard.

Circuit City. Man, fuck Circuit City. How can you have a store with only four aisles and a couple computers. How did it even get into my top five?

Porn stores, in general. No explanation needed.

Wasserstrom, restaurant supply store. Man, it doesn't matter if I need a half-pan for some kick-ass cookies, a whisk the size of Samuel L. Jackson's arm, or an obsolete ash tray, they have whatever I could possible want for a rate you can't beat anywhere (except maybe your local hustler). Restaurant supply stores rock.

2. I. Hate. Going. To. Wal-Mart.

It starts in the parking lot. You're driving in, but you can't just drive, you have to drive behind walking people because they're totally unaware that you're there. They might as well be blindfolded and ear-muffed. Hell, have them put their head on a baseball bat and spin around three times before you send them into the lot. It's that bad. And the cars are just as bad, roaming around the parking lot with complete disregard for lines, traffic, or even people. I wonder how many accidents occur in Wal-Mart parking lots yearly.

Once you're inside, the traffic problems persist. The aisles are narrow, and that large lady just has to stand in the center of the aisle to examine the pile of back-to-school folders, or that bear holding up a welcome sign. Children are screaming, and people run into you. Some people aren't even there to buy things... they're just there.

3. I always pay with cash. I don't trust computers. Just ask Stephen Hawking...

4. It's gotta be in person. I want to see the person who's selling me stuff. I need to know whose ass to beat if something is messed up. Best I can do online is send an angry e-mail and tell them if I were there I'd beat their ass.

5. Air conditioner. It's damn hot.